Learning The Hard Way

It's challenging as a parent to stand by and watch your child deal with a difficult situation. You never want to see you child hurt emotionally or physically but sometimes you need to back off and let them experience pain in order to learn from it.

We recently experienced this when we were playing at a local playground and a new group of kids came to play.  There were five of them and they were laughing and having fun even before they made it to the wood chips so obviously Jace wanted to be apart of the excitement.  As they made it onto the playgrounds seesaw Jace quickly approached and asked if he could have a turn with them, but was met with instant rejection.

The rejections came in a string of...
"It's her, then him, then him, then her, and then we're going to go through that order again."
"Who are you?"
"Where's your mommy?"
"Why are you talking to us?"
"Let's just ignore him."
"Why are you still here?"
"Why are you talking to us?"
"We don't even know you"

Jace tried to no avail to answer their questions and to even offer new games to play but the rejection comments continued until my six year old ran off the playground and hid behind a tree to cry.

I sat not far from this encounter FUMING! I was so mad at these children for being so mean and for their parents not far in the grass oblivious to what was happening. But I didn't get involved.

Instead I calmly walked over to Jace hiding behind the tree and asked him if he was OK.

He cried and called the kids bullies. I held him and told him that they weren't bullies but they also weren't being very nice. I also told him that unfortunately when we play with kids they aren't always going to be nice and that if they don't want to play with him, he shouldn't want to play with them.

I then asked Jace if he wanted to go home.  He told me he needed five more minutes of playing, then we could go.

He ran back to the play structure and started to approach those kids once again but then changed his mind and moved to a different part of the playground. He climbed and played for a few minutes then declared "OK Mama, it's time to go."



I've reminded Jace a few times since then about how it feels hear those mean words spoken to you and what it feels like to leave people out when you play. How when we play, we play with everyone. It's not always easy for a six year old to remember that.

I've never brought back up "if they don't want to play with you, you don't want to play with them", although I'm sure he won't forgot.

My son is very independent and strong willed and doesn't always like to be told no, but really who does?  I want him to be a leader and lead by example, to be fair and to believe in himself and what he is doing.  However in order for him to see the right and the fair and to know how to lead he has to experience some of those bad things that pains me, kills me as a parent because I want to make it all right for him.

So I will continue to stand back and stand off, letting him figure things out for himself. And when it's too hard and he cries or is hurt by that experience I'll be there to hug him and remind him to be good and kind.



It might kill me but I'll have to be extra strong for the both of us!

Guess Who’s Back...Back Again!

It’s been a minute since I’ve written or posted anything. 2 years 3 months and 16 days to be exact. So it truly has been a minute..a very long minute!

When I started this blog 7 years ago it was my own form of therapy to help me heal after losing our first son Jacob, but then it evolved and changed as life changed. 

It then became an outlet to share about the excitement and struggles of being new parents when our son Jace was born a year later and everything that went along with it. But as things do, they changed and my need for sharing here faded and I found other ways and places to share our lives.

When we lost our daughter Jemma in January 2017 the same way we lost Jacob I found other ways to grieve and heal, but also felt I didn’t want to burden people again with the grief we were dealing with for the second time.

But again life continues to move, evolve, change and I feel the urge and desire to come back to my blog. It’s been calling me back for a while but I’ve been trying to ignore it for this reason or for that. But the fact is I’ve missed it. 

The one thing I learned when I started this blog in 2013, was just how much I enjoyed writing. I loved how when I took to the page my ideas and words would flow easily on to it and would often end up as something completely different than what I had originally intended. Just like life my writing would change and evolve.

So I’m back! Back to write about life and all that comes with it, however it might unfold in front of me. And therefore I welcome you back! Or I just welcome you if you haven’t been here before! I hope you enjoy my journey and can find somethings to relate to. Or maybe you’ll just think I’m nuts, some people do! And that’s ok too! 

Welcome back to my journey!

Cheers! 

Instagram @healthy_mama_megs

Mama Needs a Glass of Wine

Have you ever had a moment where you are watching something happening and you know it is going to turn out poorly but there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to stop it?  It's happened to me before and it happened to me tonight.

Tonight I watched as my son shut his tiny finger in my car door!

I have managed to make it through just over 3 1/2 years of parenthood until I had to watch and/or deal with Jace having an injury where there was absolutely nothing I could do to take away or ease his pain with a mere kiss.  And that left me feeling completely HELPLESS and SHATTERED.  Watching my little man hurt and hysterical broke my heart.

Thankfully there were no broken fingers just broken skin.  And a panicked phone call to my husband at work lead to a reassuring father in law visit no more then 15 minutes after the incident happened. And thank God for rebounding children who turn back into their regular crazy selves with just more than an hour after everything happened.

Now I know that I am lucky.  On the grand scale of child illness/injury we got off easy.  There was no blood (well very little), no stitches, no hospital visits, no horrific events, but it did not stop me from parent panic.  From wanting to take away every ounce of pain and fear from this tiny human, when there was absolutely way that I could do.

So I guess that makes me human.  No strike that, it makes me a parent.  A mom.  And I know from the way I felt this evening that this is permanent.  A set of feelings and emotions that I am stuck with for life.  So instead of dwelling on it I'll move on...and have a glass of wine...or maybe a bottle.  Red please!

I am Canadian!

This past Friday I was reminded just how proud and patriotic Canadians are as I stood in line to get in  beer at the Winnipeg Blue Bomber game.

Before the game began I was moving forward to place my order for a beer as the announcement for the national anthem came.  At that moment I stopped, removed my hat and stood to sing along.  While I stood proud on the concourse of Investors Group Field I looked around me and watched as friends reminded each other to remove their hats and over 90% of the people on the concourse had stopped to acknowledge Oh Canada.  Whether they were singing along or standing respectfully I was happily astonished at the amount of people who felt and outwardly showed their pride for their country.

But that astonishment made me think, was I really all that shocked by this occurrence?  No.  I live in an amazing country and it was obvious that the people who surrounded me at this CFL game felt the same.

Which reminded me of the epic 90's I am Canadian Rant, and has inspired me to make my own personal Canadian pronouncement.

My name is Megan and I am a proud, patriotic Canadian woman.  I love where I live and that I feel safe in this beautiful country.  I have reliable health care and accessible education for my son.  I say please, thank you and I'm sorry regularly.  I have a love for poutine, smoked salmon, butter tarts and Nanaimo bars. I don't say Eh (I actually try really hard to avoid that word), and I say about not aboot. I love the country I live in and happily display or tell people where I'm from when I travel, usually receiving a response of "is that close to Toronto or Vancouver?" or "I met the nicest person from Canada once."  I am passionate about the CFL and love to watch hockey, although I have never played the sport myself.  When it comes time for any world competition where Canadian athletes are competing you be your ass I'll be watching and cheering along, even if I've never heard of those athletes before their starting introductions. My name is Megan I am from Winnipeg and I am Canadian!

9 Years and Counting

Nine years ago I was very lucky to walk down the aisle and marry my best friend.  A man who is my other half and always keeps me on my toes.  He is someone who shares my love of dressing up for Halloween and every other possible occasion and encourages me in everything I do.  He lends me his shoulder when I need it to cry on and is always there with a good laugh at exactly the right times.

The past nine years have not all been easy.  There have been tough moments and heart wrenching times but together we have made it through making us stronger than before.  He is the force that keeps me going and I couldn't imagine going through the last nine years with anyone else by my side.

Three years ago our duo turned into a tripod and although I had known in my heart that he would be a wonderful father I am continually blown away by how much of an involved, awesome father he is. Jace is so lucky to have a strong, crazy, young a heart dad to teach him every day.

Who knows what will be in store for us going forward but I look forward to the next nine years and the many more after that.  I know the years will fly by like those that have already passed filled with even more crazy memories. Who knew 15 years ago when I picked you up at the bar we would end up here today!

Happy Anniversary Jamie! I love you and cheers to many more!

Finding My Happiness

I recently finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin for one of my book clubs (yes, yes, that's right, I'm a huge nerd who is a member of 2 book clubs).  Although I didn't particularly like the book, especially the unending, overuse of quotes and extensive research statistics and data that made me feel like I was back in university, the overall concept of the book has made me think. Not necessarily thoughts of how to be happier but thoughts of how to live an overall better life and be a better person.

Living through the loss of two children has made me start to reflect on how I can be a better person for my family and the people around me, how I can love more and make the most out of the short time we have here on earth. And though I had started to look at life this way over the past few months it's been during my reading of The Happiness Project that has given me the shove I've needed to actively pursue it.

For my own pursuit of happiness, what I've come up with is not nearly as extensive, elaborate or as well researched as Gretchen's but it has been well thought out and fits my life. And unlike Rubin's 12 resolutions (one for each month) each with their own goals and indicators I have come up with 7 of my own resolutions to help me live and appreciate my life, family and all that we have.

1. Play

In the busy world that we live in it is so easy to come home from a crazy day, flop down on the couch and get lost in the world of social media or wrapped up in figuring out dinner as Jace plays around me constantly asking me to just stop and play with him.  I'm not perfect and I get tired, but I am working to be that present parent who seizes that moment and just plays, within reason.  Sometimes cooking and cleaning needs to happen but truly what is a little bit of play in the grand scheme of things? He's not going to want me to play with him forever.

2. Go on Adventures

Now I'm not talking anything crazy here.  An adventure in our house is really any outing that takes us outside or to new locations.  Our adventures take us on walks, to the mall, to the park, the zoo and even the lake.  It's the getting our butts out the door to go on the adventures.  Who doesn't get stuck on the couch in a lazy fog from time to time?  Especially when we live in a  place where winters can be so very long and tedious, getting out on any day that is not unbearable, even for just a short period of time is worth it. So why not go for a walk, pick up a couple of blasters or lightsabers (sticks) along the way and fight all the bad guys you find?  I know I've never regretted it.

3. Take Advantage of Opportunities

I don't know about you but there have been countless times I have said no to something not because I don't want to or I can't, but simply because I think, "I don't know..." and then I spend so much time thinking about it that I never actually follow through. This is a tough one because I often start to think of the effect of my doing something on others the around me such as Jace and Jamie or my parents and in-laws.  However I am changing my philosophy, my way of thinking (or I'm going to try my best). Now all it takes is three questions - Do I want to do it? Can I actually do it? Is it financially possible?  If yes, yes and yes then I need to try and make it happen!  No more putting things off, it is time to make life happen, have fun and make unforgettable memories along the way.

4. Be Kinder

Kindness goes a long way and even though I consider myself a kind person, sprinkling a little extra never hurts.  Be it holding the door for the person coming up behind you, allowing the person behind you at the grocery store to go ahead of you because they only have a few items, or just smiling.  Going through the lowest of lows has shown me that you truly never know what is going on with a person on the inside so why not give them that extra shot of kindness, it could be that one thing that keeps them going that day.

5. Take Care of Me

I admit that at times I tend to take care of the others who are around me more than myself.  I make sure they are fed, clothed and are in good spirits before I look at my own needs. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do it, but at times it means I don't always do what's best for me in terms of fitness and nutrition.  But I'm working on being better to me.  I've started watching what I eat and eating more whole foods thanks to Weight Watchers and their Simply Filling plan, I've signed up for Beach Body on Demand so I can access all sorts of exercise options at the touch of a button, and am trying out StepBet which is a walking challenge to keep me moving.  Now I just need to keep the motivation to be the best I can be so I can be a fit, happy and healthy mom and wife.

6. Be True to Me

Sometimes I mask who I am and what I like based on the thoughts and beliefs of the others who are around me, and I really get mad at myself for doing this. I down play my love for country music and deep down obsession for 90's boy bands when others scoff at those interests.  I pretend not to love a book or movie when certain people turn their noses up at them, and for what?  Are they going to dislike me for my choices? Probably not and honestly if they did who gives a shit? If someone thinks differently of me because of what I like then they don't deserve to be my friend anyway.

7. Calm Down

It doesn't happen often but when something or someone upsets me it doesn't take much for my blood to boil and my back to get up.  I don't know how many times I have walked away from a situation taken the time to breathe and come up with the best retort or comeback or had the notorious coulda, woulda, shoulda thoughts. If only I could do that in the moment.  I am doing my best to be more Bethenny. Anyone who has watched the RHONY (Real Housewives of New York) knows that this B is almost always calm and collected in the face of conflict and something I strive to be like.  She listens then reacts in the moment with a fierceness that I wish I possessed. Sometimes I just need to stop, step back and calm down, let the rein of terror come at me and be cool enough to use my sense to combat it. I strive to find my inner B.

I know these changes are a work in progress where I will have days when I excel and days that I fail to complete them but I'll keep pushing through.  The better and happier I am those around me will be as well, as I do believe happiness has a trickling effect. So here I go on my own journey to be truly happy and be the best person I know I can be.

When the Going Gets Tough the Tough Get Walking

This morning we gathered at St. Vital Park for the 3rd annual Walk/Run in the Park for Scleroderma. Hundreds came out to brave the unpredictable weather (sun, rain, sun, rain, sun), joining along with family and friends to show support for this relatively unknown condition.  Among those few hundred this morning included a group of almost 30 of us from the Young/Juer clan marking our second annual Walk for Wal.

Taking full advantage of the opportunity to get together as a family and support my mother in law Walene, our clan shared lots of love, a wonderful walk, tons of laughter and smiles, a few tears and one hell of a picnic lunch.  In true fashion, the food was a plenty as we celebrated our triumphs after the walk and spent some quality time together.

We really couldn't have asked for a better morning together.  Although there were spots of rain that sprinkled down on us a few times, overall the skies were clear, the temperature was lovely and our spirits were high.  We are a team, we are together, but most of all we are family who are there for each other through the good and the bad, no matter what.  Even if it had been miserable out, which it was last year, I know the turn out would have been the same.  That's what you do.  That's how we are.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, or in our case, Walking!

Thank you to everyone who came out today and we love you!


For more information about Scleroderma please visit the Scleroderma Association of Manitoba's website.