In almost the same time frame and fashion, on Tuesday January 17th we had to welcome and say goodbye to our sweet little girl Jemma just as we had with her big brother Jacob almost four years before. Two angels in four years. Two tiny matching urns that decorate the bookcase in our reading room. Two broken hearts learning to heal again, but this time with a busy toddler who is helping with the healing.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. We had figured out the problem after Jacob and took all the necessary steps and precautions with Jace and Jemma, or so we thought, however this time my body didn't want to cooperate. So now here we are, back where this all started. Trying to wrap our heads and our hearts around this unfair circumstance. Figuring out how to heal ourselves again and parent at the same time.
The grief is different this time and so is the healing process. It's not a day to day healing process it's more moment to moment. Taking it one step at a time, crying when the waves hit and working our way through the grief rather than fighting against it. Trying to process this crazy nightmare that is happening all over again. And although our grief shows itself differently Jamie, Jace and I are in this together. Healing differently, but together as one making our way through mending our broken hearts.
