Tonight I watched as my son shut his tiny finger in my car door!
I have managed to make it through just over 3 1/2 years of parenthood until I had to watch and/or deal with Jace having an injury where there was absolutely nothing I could do to take away or ease his pain with a mere kiss. And that left me feeling completely HELPLESS and SHATTERED. Watching my little man hurt and hysterical broke my heart.
Thankfully there were no broken fingers just broken skin. And a panicked phone call to my husband at work lead to a reassuring father in law visit no more then 15 minutes after the incident happened. And thank God for rebounding children who turn back into their regular crazy selves with just more than an hour after everything happened.
Now I know that I am lucky. On the grand scale of child illness/injury we got off easy. There was no blood (well very little), no stitches, no hospital visits, no horrific events, but it did not stop me from parent panic. From wanting to take away every ounce of pain and fear from this tiny human, when there was absolutely way that I could do.
So I guess that makes me human. No strike that, it makes me a parent. A mom. And I know from the way I felt this evening that this is permanent. A set of feelings and emotions that I am stuck with for life. So instead of dwelling on it I'll move on...and have a glass of wine...or maybe a bottle. Red please!
